If I finish the feedback forms what will I do tomorrow...

So lets just say things have been a little challenging these past few weeks and spare everyone the details...including myself. In the middle of the chaos, I have found many sweet little morsels of yogic truths...and one lead me to this.

My grandfather...sweetest man in the world besides my dad...had all these great sayings like most elders I am sure. He use to say, "Charlie, (that is what he called me) don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today." I always thought he was teaching me about laziness or not to procrastinate which are good lessons to learn but today I thought it goes deeper than that...it seems all those old sayings do.

Well, I do Seva (selfless service) for Master Yoga. Master Yoga is the Foundation which trained me to be a Certified Svaroopa Yoga Teacher and where I continue to study Yoga Therapy. Anyways, I noticed the pile of feedback forms that needed typing where piling up. So I made myself promise that I would get them all done in one weeks time. It takes about one hour to one and half hours to do one course. Well I had 14 of them! So I blasted through them and on the second to last day before my self set deadline I realized I was going to be done. I was so excited and smiling away and then all of a sudden within me this little voice came up and said, "what will I do tomorrow if all the feedback forms are done? " and all the sudden my joy was stripped and replaced by a sense of terror.

I slowly watched the ebb and flow of my mind and began taking very deep yogic breaths. All of the sudden my joy returned and I realized that if I finished the forms I could do other things on the computer like write on my blog or put together photos with a poem for my friend Carin's March Photo Challenge. I also thought I could go to the beach, or do yoga and meditate, even more sinful...just sit and do nothing.

As the days went by I realized a lot about myself and procrastination. All those piles on the desk where swept away very quickly today. The yoga studio got deep cleaned and C and I went to the ocean today. Wow! Plus I will be able to finish the scarf for Antonio Mario's visit next week!

Okay, so the dishes still pile up...but I am working on it okay. Going back to my grandfather's quote and my new way of perceiving those words spoken so long ago...I see now that in not doing what can be done now I actually rob myself of many present moments. I worried about those forms for weeks and kicked myself for not getting them done and holding up Master Yoga etc. etc. I was so busy beating myself up that I did not enjoy my yoga, or the book I was reading because in the back of my mind I was worrying about this or that.

Yesterday, I woke up and quickly took care of some business regarding my leave of absence and I was free the whole day to just be. I enjoyed my day...it was sweet. I don't remember what I did but I know I wasn't worrying.

I love this thing called Yoga. I am grateful to my teachers and the divine Grace each of them bring to my life...even in the middle of the chaos I call my life I am very happy!

And yesterday, more forms came in the mail. :) Yes I set a deadline. I understand deadlines in a whole new way now.